Most Funny Facebook Status

I love sleep because its like a time machine to breakfast.

There’s no excuse for laziness.. but if you find one, let me know.

Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

I was at the pool today and tried to sneak a quick pee in the deep end. The lifeguard must have seen me. He blew his whistle so loud that I almost fell in.

There is no “we” in “food”.

“you look tired” is the politically correct way of saying “you look like shit”

1) Go to Starbucks 2) Order coffee 3) Tell them your name is Waldo 4) Leave

When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?

I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.

I hate when people all of a sudden decide to be funny when I am drinking something.

God made everything that has life, rest everything is made in China.

Sometimes you just need some space…………To fart.

I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

Behind every great woman is a man looking at her ass!

 

 

Best Baby Quotes

“The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.”

 

“When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to hear ’27 months.’ ‘He’s two’ will do just fine. He’s not a cheese. And I didn’t really care in the first place.”

“Relax, having kids is years away. But can you imagine? Your brains, my charm, our collective good looks… then add in the usual physical abilities dhampirs get.

 

“It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells… to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.”

 

“This is a place where grandmothers hold babies on their laps under the stars and whisper in their ears that the lights in the sky are holes in the floor of heaven.”

 

“Expect the best, prepare for the worst.” Muhammad Ali Jinnah

Quaid e Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah Quoted

 

“There are two powers in the world; one is the sword and the other is the pen. There is a great competition and rivalry between the two. There is a third power stronger than both, that of the women.”
 Muhammad Ali Jinnah 

 

“No nation can rise to the height of glory unless your women are side by side with you. We are victims of evil customs. It is a crime against humanity that our women are shut up within the four walls of the houses as prisoners. There is no sanction anywhere for the deplorable condition in which our women have to live.”

Muhammad Ali Jinnah 

 

“Democracy is in the blood of Musalmans, who look upon complete equality of manhood [mankind]…[and] believe in fraternity, equality and liberty.”

 

“India is not a nation, nor a country. It is a subcontinent of nationalities.”

 

“Any idea of a United India could never have worked and in my judgment it would have led us to terrific disaster.”

 

 

Salman Khan kick Dialouges

 

Salman Khan’s new ass kicking dialogue has gotten famous  .

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Mere Bare mein Itna mat sochna..Dil Mein aata hoon. Samajh Mein Nahi 🙂

Salman Khan’s Movie Kick Crossed 150 Crores.

On the 8th Day , Salman khan’s movie has crossed the barrier of RS . 150 Crores .Salman Khan and Jacqueline Fernandez movie is still doing some serious business and it is evident that Salman’s fans are fully supporting him . Lets see if his movie crosses 200 crores or not . However it was unable to beat Amir Khan’s Dhoom 3 record of 100 crores in just 3 days .

Facebook is not working 1st August 2014

Many users around world are facing issue while accessing facebook . Facebook is currently down . Looks like some maintenance  work is going out there .

Facebook is not working 1st August 2014

Loneliness Quotes – Feeling Lonely Quotes

Yes, I guess you could say I am a loner, but I feel more lonely in a crowed room with boring people than I feel on my own.

You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.

Sometimes it is necessary to be lonely in order to prove that you are right.

Being alone never felt right. sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right.

I have so many different personalities in me and I still feel lonely.

I have never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad among men than when we stay in our chambers. A man thinking or working is always alone, let him be where he will.

Adele – Someone Like You

I heard that you’re settled down
That you found a girl and you’re married now.
I heard that your dreams came true.
Guess she gave you things I didn’t give to you.

Old friend, why are you so shy?
Ain’t like you to hold back or hide from the light.

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.
I had hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded
That for me it isn’t over.

 

Nevermind, I’ll find someone like you

 

I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don’t forget me, I beg
I’ll remember you said,
“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead”

 

You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
We were born and raised
In a summer haze
Bound by the surprise of our glory days

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited
But I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it.
I’d hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded
That for me it isn’t over.

 

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don’t forget me, I beg
I’ll remember you said,
“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.”

 

Nothing compares
No worries or cares
Regrets and mistakes
They are memories made.
Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?

 

 

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don’t forget me, I beg
I’ll remember you said,
“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead”.

 

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don’t forget me, I beg
I’ll remember you said,
“Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.”

Rumi Quotes

“What you seek is seeking you.”

 

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

 

“Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion.”

 

“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.”

“My soul is from elsewhere, I’m sure of that, and I intend to end up there.”

“The rose’s rarest essence lives in the thorns.”

 

“I will soothe you and heal you,
I will bring you roses.
I too have been covered with thorns.”

Happiness Quotes

Happiness and sadness run parallel to each other.  When one takes a rest, the other one tends to take up the slack.  ~Hazelmarie Elliott (“Mattie”)


Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier.  The way it actually works is the reverse.  You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.  ~Margaret Young


Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to make happiness impossible.  ~St. Augustine


Can anything be so elegant as to have few wants, and to serve them one's self?  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


There are two things to aim at in life:  first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it.  Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.  ~Logan Pearsall Smith, Afterthoughts, 1931


This is my "depressed stance."  When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand.  The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better.  If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.  ~Charlie Brown


Pleasure is spread through the earth
In stray gifts to be claimed by whoever shall find.
~William Wordsworth, 1806


Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.  ~Nathaniel Hawthorne


Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.  ~Abraham Lincoln


Happiness is a form of courage.  ~Holbrook Jackson


We must laugh before we are happy, for fear of dying without having laughed at all.  ~Jean de La Bruyere


Tranquil pleasures last the longest; we are not fitted to bear the burden of great joys.  ~Christian Nestell Bovee


We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.  ~Frederick Keonig


Every now and then,
when the world sits just right,
a gentle breath of heaven
fills my soul with delight...
~Hazelmarie ‘Mattie’ Elliott, A Breath of Heaven


It's never too late to have a happy childhood.  ~Berke Breathed


Happiness is the soundtrack of my life.  ~Grey Livingston


The secret to happiness is to put the burden of proof on unhappiness.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


Happiness?  That's nothing more than health and a poor memory.  ~Albert Schweitzer


Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.  ~Eleanor Roosevelt


Happiness is a direction, not a place.  ~Sydney J. Harris


Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.  ~Janet Lane


A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery while on a detour.  ~Author Unknown


If you want others to be happy, practice compassion.  If you want to be happy, practice compassion.  ~Dalai Lama


Happiness held is the seed; happiness shared is the flower.  ~Author Unknown


There is no cosmetic for beauty like happiness.  ~Lady Blessington


The best vitamin to be a happy person is B1.  ~Author Unknown